I don't wanna say "I love you", until...

Time is ticking too slow.

Or am I the only one who actually can’t wait?. Two hours to go until I meet you. I hate flight, I hate for staying a long time in a plane, but dear, now I’m doing it for you.

This plane started to take off.

I remember you said, “Just don’t be afraid and pretend like you’re a bird. You’ll enjoy it. Trust me”.

I can hear the plane’s engine. The louder it gets, the faster for my heartbeats. Oh dear, I just can’t wait to see you.

A two hour trip seems so long for me. And a week of apprehensive feelings leading up to when we meet. And you wouldn’t understand this feeling, or maybe you do feel the same way?

I close my eyes for a moment. It seems scary for me since its my first time flight. Oh it would be better to think of you.

“Okay close your eyes for a moment, counting to 15, and then open it slowly. Look at the window and see, there’s a miracle in the middle of the sky”. You told me that yesterday.

Should I believe you? should I open my eyes now?. Okay, I believe you, like always do.

“Wow!”, I’m shouting to myself. What a wonderful feeling for seeing the clouds in the middle of the sky, at thousand feets. I began to understand something. I love it. And thank you.

I’m checking back the ticket for the boarding time.

19:30. So its 1 hour and 27 minutes left.

I remember what you said yesterday. You said that we’ve been separated for six months. We were best friends before, and now we’re a couple. So it will be the first time we meet as a lovers.

And you said that you can’t wait for this moment. Also asked if I felt the same?.

I answered “No”. I lied.

You know that I like to lie about my feelings for you. I feel shy for showing them. And I hate you for making me blush every time you ask what I feel about you. I have to admit that you’re pretty smart know how to make me fall for you more. Ah dear, even just by thinking of you has made my heart beat faster. And I couldn’t ask for more when my best friend became a part of my heart.

One hour for thinking about what will happen when I finally meet you.

Do I have to be shy? or do I have to show you the way I am, with all I have and feel inside about you?

One hour for arranging the words that I should say to you. Should I make a list or just write what’s on my mind?

I guess not. I bet you will understand me, even without me having to say something. Just like when you said that seeing my eyes was more than enough for you to read my mind, more than enough for you to know what I feel about you. Well, then you must know how much I love you.

I’m smiling here, remembering about that I-love-you thing. Clearly shows in my mind that I always reply “Yes, thank you” for every time you say “I love you”

“Why don’t you just reply “I love you too” to me? even just once. Would you please do me a favor to make me happy with that? I believe I would be over the moon if I hear you say that. I’m begging you.” You begged me for “I love you”

“No, I don’t wanna say “I love you”, until I meet you”, I replied. Oh dear, how I wish I could let you know how ward I tried to force myself not to say that.

But deep down inside my heart I replied for you. Yes, I love you too. :)

Oh dear, this plane shaking strongly. Lot of bumps and a couple of screaming noises from passengers. I can see the board staffs look worried. One of them said maybe less than 5 minutes this plane is going to crash.

God!

I close my eyes, I give up for everything to God.

But dear, I’m regret of something.

Regret for not letting you hear me saying “I love you”.

I should’ve said it a million times before. No matter I meet you or not.

I’m sorry, but I do love you.

I’m not regret for what’s happening. So, please don’t blame yourself if you find me nowhere in this world. I know you’ll be sad for it but just don’t make it last.

I promise when I meet you in heaven. The first thing I would say is “I love you” without you ask me to.

Let me live in your memory and dear, I die for you.

I love you.